EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
An anxious woman has found herself in a bit of a predicament this morning, as the remnants of her cold have her producing enough snot to obnoxiously sniff every few minutes but not enough to blow into a tissue.
This comes as Rachel Lee, 28, returned to work today after having a few days off due to a cold.
Though Rachel reports feeling ‘remarkably better’, there’s still a residual sniffle she’s struggling to shake – much to the annoyance of every coworker within ear shot who now has to listen to her snot travel its way up to her brain.
“Someone offered me a tissue which I know is just a polite way of saying ‘blow your fucking nose you fucking cretin’, explains Rachel, “but I can’t blow my nose because there’s not enough to blow. There’s only enough to sniff.”
“I’ve tried not sniffing for a while to see if it gives me more to blow, but then I blow and only a tiny bit comes out and it hurts, so I have to sniff again except this time it’s a bigger sniff.”
“Would people prefer to hear a frequent, small sniff, or an intermittent, bigger sniff that’s occasionally a bit guttural.”
“Which is the lesser of two evils?”
More to come.
