PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT
Speaking from the French Quarter this morning, Benedict Charlesworth has today revealed to The Advocate how he’s battling the cost of living.
Charlesworth, who had just returned from an a nice little European holiday with his family, explained how he’s just making ends meet by stealing groceries from Woolworths.
“It’s actually quite simple, you just need two tote bags, and a tremendous degree of confidence blended with arrogance,” he laughed.
“I do it all the time. You save so much once you stop paying for groceries.”
Charlesworth, who was quite elusive about the nature of his father’s work explained that theft from supermarket giant Woolworths was essential in “holding the powerful to account.”
“It is absolutely imperative that the proletariat hit back at the bourgeoisie occasionally, we cannot simply operate as benign cogs, we must fight, steal and stand-up to these all-powerful entities who are recording eye watering profits.”
Speaking with an unseasonal tan, one source close to Charlesworth explained that his Instagram contained a lot of images of the Swiss Alps, the Dolomites, and the French Riviera.
Charlesworth dodged accusations that he was cosplaying poverty to continue justifying his theft of the Supermarket giant.
“What Papa does for a living is not important and should not distract from the real villain here which is clearly Woolworths, I’ll continue to take what’s rightly mine, what they get away with is disgusting.”
Charlesworth then retreated into his family’s terrace home in North Fitzroy.
No more to come.
