WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Leader of the Opposition has today made a huge splash.
Breaking with tradition, Sussan Ley has decided to spend a bit of time thinking about 50% of the population, and decided to come up with a policy that may help them.
With debates raging on about quotas in the Liberal Party of Australia, the first woman to take the reigns has decided to focus on grass roots change, and call for some drought aid.
However, while traditionally focused on giving money to primary producers, the drought aid package will be targeted at those effected by the ‘man drought.’
Dragging into its 5th devastating year now, the man drought is an event that has seen women around the country left to make ends meets with cracked earth and bare river beds.
Symbolised by blokes with dead animals on their dating profiles, prolific ghosting, and commitmentaphobes – the man drought doesn’t seem to have an end in sight.
So, in an effort to alleviate the worst of drought, the Opposition has revealed a raft of measures.
A $1.4 billion dollar package has been revealed, with a landmark $942 million to be spent bring hot tradies to Australia.
The tradies will be brought from all over the world, under the condition they are ‘spunky’ and are not loved up.
As well as taking up roles as boyfriends and husbands, it’s believed they’ll lift the standards of Australian males across the country.
Under the plan $211 million is set to be pumped into creating new fiction that is essentially erotic fiction.
Grants and subsidies will also be offered for things like jar openers, bug spray to get rid of spiders and toys to keep lonely bachelorettes company until enough hot foreign tradies arrive.
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has yet to comment on proposed package, but political experts believe it’s something he could be squeezed on.
More to come.
