WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local moron has gone ahead and done it again, it can be confirmed today.
Big Coen Johnson from Betoota Heights has gone and soiled another shirt this weekend, after promising to himself to change his ways.
The plumber from the real life project home catalogue known as The Heights said he was left with egg (and sauce) on his metaphorical face and literal shirt yesterday, after trying to pump a big old brekky burger.
“I genuinely don’t know why the fuck I wear white shirts,” sighed Johnson.
“Given my long history of destroying items of clothing with food stuffs.”
While Johnson said he had made a commitment to eating more carefully, aka ‘slowly,’ he just got a little sure of himself at the end of his brekky yesterday.
“Yeah, I thought to myself, ‘geeze well down here’ after polishing off the big slab of brioche, egg, bacon, hash, bbq sauce and mayo.”
“And then I lost concentration and quickly tried to wolf down the last bit which really should have been two bites.”
“Big old drip of bbq sauce, mayo, oil, and a bit of egg all down the front.”
“Shirt’s fucked.”
When asked why he bothered trying to quickly splash water on it at the public toilet, Johnson shrugged.
“Yeah pretty pointless I guess, the stain isn’t coming out.”
“I’d like to say lives and learns.”
“But that would be a lie.”
No more to come.
