TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact
A local man has survived an extravagant 3-day bucks party on Betoota’s luxurious outer atoll this weekend despite the party’s organiser failing to provide food. According to sources, the organisers spent the entire $800-per-person budget on accommodation and recreational substances.
Speaking with The Advocate shortly after returning to the mainland, Bryce Wittenhouse explains how it was out of sheer desperation that he managed to find the only nutrient source he believed available.
“It was hour 32. I realised I’d consumed nothing but Hard Solo and Blue Mitsubishi’s. I asked Jack, the organiser, if he brought any food and he just laughed at me and called me a ‘g** c**t’.”
“And that I was a coward if I ate or dranks anything that wasn’t hard pressed or processed.”
“So, when no one was looking I would sneak sips of pool water”
“In hindsight there were other things I could have tried, but when your diet consists of ecstasy, rat poison and horse tranquiliser you’re not really thinking straight”
According to a renowned water scientist from The University of Betoota, while not recommended, chlorinated pool water is safe when consumed in small doses.
“Pools and spas don’t contain enough chlorine to cause poisoning. Pool water is water, and you can survive on water alone for about 2-3 months.”
Despite suffering sore eyes and a full body skin rash, Bryce said he would do it all again.
“You get that on the big jobs. Although next time I might sneak in a box of Jatz.”
More to come.
