ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Opener Sam Konstas has fronted up after the team’s record-breaking win in Jamaica, quietly buying the first bucket of Red Stripes at the hotel bar after letting the West Indies avoid total infamy.
In a ruthless third Test demolition, Australia bowled the hosts out for 27 runs, the second-lowest total in Test history. It would’ve equalled the all-time record of 26, set by New Zealand in 1955, had Konstas not misfielded a rolling ball and allowed a single. There was also a dropped catch in the mix, making the purchase of the first buckets an unwritten rule known by all those who’ve played the game at any level.
Witnesses at the resort say Konstas waited his turn, nodded politely to the bartender, and paid full price for two buckets of cold stubbies, served with ice the team doctor has told them not to chew on. He returned to the group in silence, placed it on the table and sat down without making eye contact. The message was clear. He knew what he’d done.
The misfield came during a carnage-filled final session, where Mitchell Starc tore through the top order with a five-wicket haul in 15 balls before Scott Boland cleaned up the tail with hat-trick.
Elsewhere, Alex Carey has been cleared to binge drink after passing his final HIA. The wicketkeeper was subbed out after copping a bouncer to the helmet and had to leave the field, but is now reportedly back on his feet and requesting they move onto slushy cocktails.
Australia returns home with a 3–0 sweep.
More to come.
