KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A prominent lactose avoider is in a world of trouble today as she faces the consequences of making the wrong choice for dinner.
Lying on the floor with tummy cramps and a case of garlic breath that could wipe out the cast of Twilight, Jenna Bega (28) has told The Advocate she’s totally buckled after going out last night for a cheap and cheerful Italian dinner.
After visiting Trattoria di Lygon, a homely Italian restaurant around the corner from Betoota Uni that fills its walls with framed black-and-white photos of celebrities who’ve never foot inside the venue, Jenna decided she’d roll the dice and choose the pasta and sauce option that would definitely make her sick.
Instead of playing it safe with a dairy-free arrabbiata or spaghetti aglio e olio, Jenna reportedly went full dairy mode and ordered a carbonara with penne pasta, plus a side of cheesy garlic bread.
Despite knowing full well that creamy foods often turn her guts upside down and cause bathroom eruptions as explosive as Mt Vesuvius, Jenna decided the taste would be worth it.
“Awww dear, oh deary deary me,” Jenna now squirmed, cradling her tummy like a mother participating in a pregnancy photoshoot.
“Yeah of course the carbonara was the wrong choice, but have you ever slopped spoonfuls of pancetta and cream onto a slice of garlic bread so buttery that it’s fluoro yellow? Absolute heaven.”
“Plus, everyone at work today thought I’d caught a case of food poisoning from some off milk in the communal fridge, so I’ve managed to get tomorrow off too.”
