KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
A local girl is once again cursing her inability to hold onto her chapstick today, as she battles an onslaught of Antarctic winds.
Down in Melbourne for the weekend to catch up with an old school mate, Betoota’s Lisa Pawpaw has arrived in the southern capital a little unprepared for Victoria’s ability to turn once-moisturised skin into dry, desiccated flakes.
With icy winds breaking across her face, Lisa’s been forced to lick her lips every ten minutes while she stands in line waiting to try some new fancy croissant place her best friend won’t shut up about.
“Jesus, it’s cold…” she trembled, shaking uncontrollably in the only light overshirt she packed for the weekend, “I really do need a puffer.”
Watching on as Melbournians walk away from Le Bureau de Beurre, a trendy new bakehouse that specialises in twice-baked croissants, Lisa couldn’t help but realise her lips were beginning to resemble the same croissant crumbs that are scattered all over the footpath, getting eaten up by local pigeons.
With her lips burning with every gust of wind, Lisa cursed the thought of the two perfectly good chapsticks sitting in her car console, all the way back in Betoota.
“How much longer? There’s like no way we could order these on Uber Eats or something?” Lisa complained to her mate, coating another lick of saliva over her parched lips.
“Or can we just go to Woolies or something? I’m sure if we buy some nice ham and cheese, some homemade ones would be just as good.”
“I need a chapstick ASAP or if I hook up with anyone tonight, it’ll feel like they’re making out with a Ryobi belt sander…”
More to come.
