ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local couple with no children and no immediate plans to change are reportedly keeping the flame of passion alive by ruthlessly monitoring each other’s biometric data.
Tim Arber and Hannah Cooke, both 31, recently signed a 30-year mortgage on a modest two-bedroom apartment in Betoota Grove. To celebrate that egregious milestone, they’ve begun what they describe as a “wellness era.”
Early nights, two-drink limits, their shared daily regime of Swisse supplements and an unspoken but deeply competitive sleep score rivalry.
“We’re just trying to be good to each other,” Tim told The Advocate.
“And sometimes that means celebrating your partner’s wins, even when they absolutely pants you on REM. You could say that REM is our love language.”
Both hybrid workers in the public service, the pair say that instead of resenting each other over forgotten daycare pickups or overdue school fees like our mates, they’ve chosen to “invest in longevity” through joint stretching sessions, matched vitamins, and the passive-aggressive tracking of each other’s resting heart rate.
The passion, they say, is stronger than ever.
“Tim let me have the last Swisse magnesium gummie last night,” says Hannah.
“Which was actually huge of him, because we’d just done intervals and he gets the worst DOMS. But he said he’ll still get some from his multivitamin.”
The couple plans to celebrate their anniversary on World Wellness Day (June 14th, which is today) with an early dinner, followed by a supplement-fuelled race to see who can get the first full 90-minute sleep cycle before 9:45pm.
“We don”t need kids to feel alive,” says Hannah.
“We’ve got wearable tech and a dog that respects our boundaries. He knows he’s not allowed on the bed. On a school night.”
More to come.
