ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
An old fool from Betoota Heights has thrown a fucked barbecue up on Marketplace for $150. The barbecue is also filthy and covered in Christ knows what.
Paul Trencher, a 75-year-old dipstick and self-appointed authority on everything from barbecues to te Middle East (nuke it all), has listed what he claims is a genuine Weber Q for the price of a week’s groceries, despite the fact it looks like it’s been fished out of the Cooks River.
“Good honest BBQ,” reads the caption.
“Just needs a bit of Elbow Greece [sic]. Don’t lowball me, I know what I have.”
The photos show a barbecue so offensively filthy it could legally be classified as a biohazard under the appropriate state legistlation.
Locals scrolling through our cosmopolitan inland port’s Facebook Marketplace reacted with a mix of humour and genuine disbelief. One commenter asked if the price included a handjob. Another offered $5 to throw it in the Diamantina River for him.
Paul is unmoved.
“It’s a Weber,” he told The Advocate.
“They hold their value. This one’s seasoned. Properly broken in. You don’t clean that. That’s flavour.”
When asked why he didn’t just clean it before listing it, Paul said the buyer might want to restore it themselves, like an MG B or Triumph Stag.
At time of writing, the barbecue remains unsold.
More to come.
