KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Sitting in a makeup chair inside a $1500 Airbnb at 6am on a Saturday, local bride Kayla Finnegan has a bit going on.
With less than six hours to go before she walks down the aisle at Little Fat Pig Estate to marry her boyfriend of two years, Brad Henderson, it’s fair to say Kayla’s nerves could be ranked somewhere between “8” and “bag of cats at a greyhound meeting.”
But just as she uses the quiet moment to recite her vows, Kayla’s iPhone decided to pour diesel on the volcano of stress erupting in her brain, by reminding her that less than ten years ago, she was single, flirty, and doing a bunch of hot girl shit on Contiki.
Opening her phone to send some stressed-out texts to the florist and celebrant, Kayla was greeted by a cheerful reminder on her home screen, that she once had a week-long fling with a well-endowed German guy she remembers calling “Bratwurst Boy.”
Swiping through the rest of the photos her iPhone seemed determined to resurface, Kayla told The Advocate the UX designers at Apple must be some kind of sadistic animals with no regard for the sanctity of marriage.
“Really? Now?! Now is when my phone thinks I want to see selfies of me wearing a neon yellow singlet at the Széchenyi Bath Party in Budapest?”
“I’m about to marry my soul away, and Apple thinks I need a reminder of the five-day bender I did in Ibiza.”
“Yeah, nothing calms the nerves quite like anxious memories of all the boys I pashed and shagged. I don’t need a photo album, that’s what my bridesmaids are for.”
More to come.
