WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A purveyor of common sense has today explained to The Advocate the solution to the nation’s energy woes.
Local Sky News Uncle Andrew Garlick (59) has sat down with our newspaper to run us through why the answer to all our problems is right in front of our nose.
“Mate, we’ve got all the resources we need ready to go,” explained Garlick, fresh off the back of ruining Easter by consistently baiting his nieces and nephews into arguments about all manner of things.
The recent divorcee who consumes 65 times more than the recommended safe dose of Sky News every week, says that Australia needs to embrace a gas lead future.
“We need to cut red tape and start pulling that shit out of the sea and ground,” said Garlick, seemingly unaware that 80% of Australian gas is exported overseas.
That gas is sent overseas because it fetches a much higher price as a result of things like the war in Ukraine, and then some of it is sold back to Australia at exorbitant prices which are then passed onto Australians who have to put up with the results of decades of political chain dragging on future proofing our energy grid.
Despite the government having a mechanism that can ensure Australian gas is available to Australians before being sold overseas, they continually refuse to implement it – ensuring that ordinary people pay way more for their energy quarter on quarter.
“Yeah, so we just need to free up more gas,” retorted Garlick, as if large multinational companies wouldn’t just sell overseas because it is more profitable.
“Until we can get nuclear up and running,” continued the Sky News Uncle who constantly references renewables not being able to handle the demand but has full confidence in a one page policy detailing nuclear power generation sometime after those 360 billion dollar submarines turn up in Australia.
“I know you woke lefties don’t like it, but that’s the way forward,” finished Garlick who has now apparently foregone all critical thinking since Aunty Felicity left him.
More to come.
