KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
In national sports news, props around the nation have been celebrating this week as a new boot hits the market just in time for the return of bush footy.
With trial games just around the corner for most reserve grade competitions across the country, French running brand HOKA have launched a new cushioned boot that’s capable of supporting the ankles of 130kg props, who have zero knee cartilage.
It’s no surprise HOKA have made a sidestep into the world of contact sports, given the brand is already popular amongst heavy set PE teachers and over 60’s who still participate in parkruns on the weekend.
Aptly titled “The Career Extender” range, the new boots are being marketed as the plushest boots on the market, a king sized foot mattress for blokes who can eat two pies for lunch and still have room for a choccie milk.
Speaking to the captain coach of the Div 4 Betoota Mutts side, Aiden ‘Boof’ Tookey, the release of the boots has inspired him to prolong his long awaited retirement, and hop onboard for another year of reserve grade debauchery.
“I thought after losing the semis last year I was done, everyone from my doctor to my physio to my girlfriend told me it’s time I hung up the boots,” Tookey told our reporter.
“The cartilage in my knees is thinner than a beer coaster, so you can imagine the pain I was in last year running out onto the Betoota dustbowl for my 22 minutes of power per game.”
“But these new boots, a bloody godsend! I even ran a sub 6 minute Bronco at training last night, so with one shot of Ozempic I might be able to pivot back to my high school days of being a ball-running centre.”
More to come.
