LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Proving that some people still go the extra mile for customer satisfaction, Betoota mum Sophia Kenning (49) has taken the initiative and opened her adult daughter’s mail for her.
Having to move back home since 2023 rent became a luxury item, Kenning’s daughter Lisa (25) has had to adjust to life back on the boob and all of its mysterious surprises.
One of the strangest little recurring incidents is how Lisa’s mum cannot stand the sight of an unopened envelope regardless of if it’s her name on the outside or not.
“It just came in and I didn’t know what it was and I got stressed so I just sort of opened it for you,” stated Kenning, who at one point was responsible for teaching her daughter to manage anxiety.
“It turned out it was just your CTP slip which you can pay me back for when you’re ready.”
Having her privacy violated in the most minor way possible, Lisa stated she is not sure how to respond whenever her mum feels the need to commit a little mail fraud.
“I mean what am I meant to do? Get her arrested?” stated Lisa, who really misses the feeling of opening her own clothing orders.
“You’d think she’d made some enemies in the IRA the way she reacts to my packages arriving. She sends me several texts asking what it is before opening it.”
“I’d love to tell her how much it pisses me off but I don’t want to upset her. I guess I just have to accept the fact she’ll always be this mad anxious person who gave me life just like how she’ll have to accept that her complete lack of respect for my postal privacy really gives me the absolute shits.”
More to come.
