LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
An innocent group of co-workers have suffered the indignity of learning about an intense colleague today, specifically about how this psycho makes his own everything.
Local intense man Sergio Humble (43) appears just like any other lanyard wearer at Betoota City Council except for the fact he lives on a farm and carries a multitool on his belt.
Although a reserved person during and after work hours, just a little chat with Humble confirms he is in fact a very intense guy who spends his spare time making his own version of everything imaginable.
“Yeah I baked the bread, made the cheese, cultured the butter and cured the salami myself,” stated Humble, holding his sandwich in an iron grip.
“I keep it fresh in this little lunchbox which I knocked together over a long weekend as well as a matching one for my son, who I also made.”
Usually only speaking to his coworkers when he is pissed off about a late delivery or missing file, Humble finds little time for chit-chat unless asked about any of his personal items, all of which he made himself from scratch.
“I’ve been on SPF 50 for years but I’m getting a batch ready for summer which will be SPF 150. I shared some with a fella from my self defence class, it’s called Serg-Quan-Doe, it’s a new discipline I invented.”
“Sip of moonshine?”
Despite being about as friendly as a shark during a naval disaster, Humble’s co-workers say they quite like the guy as without him they would have no funny stories from work.
“He once told me he made the shovel that he used to dig the latrine trench for the school he attended,” stated one of Humble’s intimidated but grateful co-workers.
“Plus, he whipped up that heart valve for me and I wouldn’t be here today without it.”
