LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Betoota dad Troy Wood (58) has been well and truly rumbled today after finally being called out for giving advice he has simply plagiarised from 1990s films about sport.

As someone whose idea of research doesn’t involve a news website with a crosshair in the logo, Wood still has a good relationship with his children who still come to him when in need of some guidance.

Despite being blessed with this Holy Grail of parental relationships, Wood still finds it hard to actually give his own advice and turns to nostalgic inspirational speeches from fictional coaches to get the job done.

When his son Murray (30) spoke to his dad about how he’s not really where he wants to be at 30 years old, Wood decided a little wisdom from Al Pacino might just do the trick.

“Life’s a game of inches,” stated Wood, who as an Australian has always lived amongst the metric system.

“The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of the game, every minute, every second.”

According to Wood, his adult son then interrupted Tony D’Amato’s iconic speech to inform his dad he knew he was quoting Any Given Sunday (1999) and requested that his dad share some of his own wisdom instead.

“Well Murray, I’ve made every wrong choice a middle-aged man can make. I’ve pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who’s ever loved me. And lately, I can’t even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know, when you get old, in life, things get taken from you. I mean, that’s… that’s… that’s a part of life.”

Although Murray is reported to have walked away as soon as his dad went back to quoting the Al Pacino film, Wood believes he did a good job consoling his son and successfully snuck in that kernel of truth regarding all his money being pissed away.

MORE TO COME.

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