LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The Betoota French Quarter somehow got even more up its own ass today as a local enjoyer of cycling and bright colours added a speaker to her bike as the current level of attention she received was insufficient.
The colourful character in question is Betoota born Annafirth ‘Crescent Moon’ Whaimsley (44) the owner of the channel country’s most decorated bike by streamer count.
Australia’s strained relationship with cyclists is as vast and rough as the continent itself with the only people that come close to being as hateable are those who play their weird music loudly in public as if to say ‘this is all one big party where invites are mandatory and only I may pick the music.’
Today however, Whaimsley woke up and decided she would be both at once.
Removing the litre of homemade kombucha from her bike’s hand painted water bottle holster, Whaimsley popped in her portable speaker, cranked up her all The Grates playlist and went for a ride to nowhere in particular.
“Oh wow, look at her go,” stated one bystander, giving Whaimsley exactly what she wanted.
“Good for her?”
Wanting to give Whaimsley right of reply, The Advocate reached out to her for comment and were treated to nine and a half hours of the virtues of positivity that thoroughly dashed the already meagre last remnants of hope that our reporting team cling to like a lost sailor on a buoy in a storm.
“Aaah, but there must be rain before a rainbow,” stated Whaimsley, who then began searching her cracked iPhone 4 for the song where Dolly Parton says that.
“I’ve got a tandem in the back. We could ride around and make some smiles together!”
