RORY SALAZAR | Property | Contact
A cute and naive couple who rent a shitbox studio apartment near the inlet down at Betoota Lakes, have this morning signed a contract to build their dream home.
Francis Touhy (29) and Destiny Childs (26) were full of unbridled joy when they told the Advocate they had signed their incredibly affordable fixed-price contract with volume builder, JJ Prince Homes. They hugged and kissed each other and laughed.
It reminded our reporter of just how sumptuous the Australian Dream really is when it comes true.
“Oh gosh!” Destiny exclaimed as she wiped away tears of joy from the creases of her eyeballs. “I can’t believe we did it. Six months from now we’ll be in our forever home!”
She laughed and hugged her man again.
The Advocate can confirm that the happy couple managed to sign off on a fairly standard construction contract, with a fixed-price of $344,960 and a total construction time of approximately six months according to the clauses noted within the contract.
The contract also includes standard disclaimers and conditions you’d expect a contract like it to include. However, the contract fails to mention the fact there’s no tradies available in Betoota right now, nor are there any available building materials to construct anything with.
Plus, it’s reported that the couple’s builder, JJ Prince Homes, currently has 642 home builds happening across greater Betoota. And exactly 642 of these are not only 12 months behind schedule, but have seen their costs blow out by over 85% due to the above mentioned labour and materials shortages.
In fact, the Advocate discovered that JJ Prince Homes is operating insolvent, and so technically shouldn’t be taking on any new customers right now.
Our reporter didn’t have the heart to tell the young lovers all this fucked up shit.
Instead, our man just let them enjoy their special day as a kind of mercy. The last drip of unadulterated joy the naïve pair would feel before the next 36 months of costs blow outs, delays, despair and ultimately, nothing to show for it but a half-poured concrete slab and bankruptcy.
“Francis,” Destiny clasped her man’s hands in hers, “I’ve been waiting for this moment to tell you.”
“I’m pregnant!”
More to come
