EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A Betoota Ponds millennial woman has today revealed she has no idea who the ‘baddest bitches’ are anymore, seeing as Lip Smackers discontinued their jewel series in the early 2000s, it’s reported.

Cara Stanmore [31] tells The Advocate that even though these popular lip balms are still around to this day, they no longer feature a cute birth gemstone themed jewel on the cap, ‘which gave every eight year old a bit of a sassy attitude’, if they managed to convince their mum to buy one.

Cara tells us that her personal favourite was the ‘Aquamarine Freeze’, which she can still recall the taste of to this day.

“My older sister got a three pack, and I kicked up such a stink that my mum had to buy me one too”, Cara explains, “these modern day Lucas Papaw loyalists will never understand.”

“I’d say this was the primary school version of getting that pink Motorola flip phone.”

“To quote Gen Z, it was ‘serving cunt.'”

More to come.

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