KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT
Australia’s next Mike Cannon-Brooks has jumped at a lucrative business opportunity this week as he looks to cash in on the hottest tickets in town.
West Betoota Forklift driver Scott “Sorby” Sorbent (45) has reportedly been hot on the phones to a contact stationed in Qingdao in China, hoping to secure several shipping containers worth of glittery cowboy hats that he can flog when Taylor Swift comes to Australia.
A well connected con-man, it’s believed Scott was also one of the local grubs that stockpiled toilet paper during lockdowns and managed to flip pallets of 3-ply tissue to many local hotels and AirBnB’s via Betoota’s brown market.
Having made some solid business connections with a number of colourful identities across Betoota’s logistics and transport industry, Scott told The Advocate his plan to make mountains of tax-free cash from T-Swift’s tour was simply an example of good Aussie ingenuity.
“Mate it’s cash for the taking, pollies always say you’ve gotta have a go to get a go, this is just me having a red hot crack!”,” Scott told The Advocate as he unloaded another pallet of black market vapes off a truck from Brisbane.
“The glittery Akubra market will skyrocket in Feb next year, I can import pink plastic ones for $1.50 a head and flip them for $15 outside the stadium, it’s just good business.”
Asked if his aggressive business tactics would undercut many of the cheap knick-knack stores in town, Scott said he was simply making hay whilst the sun was shining.
“With New Years festival season approaching, I’ve got to stock up on feather boas and battery powered hats.”
“Also my daughter missed out on Swifty tickets, so if I get these sparkly Akubras into the hands of the right people, I can probably barter some front row seats off the promoters as well.”
“Not to mention I’ve got plenty of bog roll that I can hock off to the portable toilet people, they’ll be setting up portaloos in front of every stadium in the country come February.”
