ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Kluger-driving-mother-of-four has quoted the immortal bard this morning as she prepares to re-enter the bowels of hell in her quest to get tickets to Taylor Swift after the American capitalist added two extra shows to her local tour.

Speaking to The Advocate as she fed a handful of 5.56mm rounds into a magazine while she sat on her MCM lounge, Wendy Galhooly said today is the day where she gets her ducks in a row and work out a strategy before tickets go on sale again tomorrow.

A 3D-printed AR-15 lay on the coffee table.

“These are F1A1 balls but if you look closely, I’ve cut the tips off and cut a cross in the top of them,” said the President of the Betoota Heights Netball Association.

“I’m not taking any more chances. I will get four tickets, one way or another.”

The 49-year-old real estate agent missed out yesterday in the mad rush to get tickets to Taylor Swift’s shows in Sydney and Melbourne, something she says devisted her daughters.

“The look on their face said it all,” said Wendy as she gestured for our reporter to join her outside on the deck.

On the outdoor table was a hand-sewn vest with a pouch on the front and back. Wendy took the 10mm cast iron griddle off her Weber Q and slid it in the front pouch.

“This will stop a 5.56mm,” she said.

“At a few hundred meters, anyway. I might get another for the back but where I’m going, there’s no retreat,”

“We have sixteen browsers ready. God is on our side.”

More to come.

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