WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local Betoota Ponds man has today entered his Lake Eyre era.
Perennially dehydrated man Aldous Bexley told The Advocate today that the cold snap has hit him hard again this year.
Known as the dry lips guy amongst his friendship group, the generally well-liked young man says that he is entering the horrific chapped period of winter.
“The change in seasons fucks me,” sighed young Bexley, trying to apply some chap stick to his lips that currently resemble the surface of the famous Lake Eyre.
“Every year my body knows it’s coming, and every year it gets the better of me,” laughed the man who had a cracked lip bleed go undetected for what must have been a significant period of time yesterday.
“My lips look like fractured plates of salt on the majestic Lake Eyre just a few hundred kilometres south of here.”
Applying some chapstick for the 8th time today, Bexley said he’s doubled his water consumption in a desperate bid to keep some moisture in his lips.
“The wind just rips everything out of them, and it’s the hardest thing in the world not to moisten them with saliva.”
Bexley then admitted that he does always try to look on the bright-side of life.
“At least I’m not an allergy guy, who ends up dripping like a tap and looking like he’s been stung by a bee all spring,” he laughed.
“Could always be worse.”
