LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A local mate has proved that honesty is the best policy even though it is often rude and weird as shit.

Often described as ‘blunt’ by his mates, and ‘miserable sod’ when he’s not around, Ezikiel Vieb (39) of Betoota’s French Quarter believes that honesty is the way to go because it saves time and he’s already lived too long. 

Earlier today, Vieb put his preaching into practice by saving his mate time and telling them there is not a chance in frozen hell he’ll watch the show they recommended he watch.

According to everyone who can use a phone or computer keyboard, we are living in the golden age of TV where budgets are plentiful, actors are famous and seasons long character arcs are sometimes OK.

Although he is aware he is in the golden era of TV, Vieb is a moderate streamer of TV shows and considers his time as precious as a pre-cancelled Dali Lama. For that reason, Vieb stated it is more likely that the Greens will one day form a functioning majority government than he will watch whatever show it was his mate just recommended.

“To be honest with you mate, no, I’m not going to watch that,” stated Vieb, as if he were on Shark Tank denying a business pitch.

“If I say I might watch it you’ll keep asking me about it every time I see you and I don’t want to lead you on like that.”

“I’d say it’s not personal but it kind of is. You have really shitty taste in not just TV shows but media in general. You once told me you’d rather watch Big Bang Theory than 30 Rock. Now keep in mind, they’re both doggerel, but Tina Fey wrote Mean Girls and therefore gets a life pass. The creators of Big Bang Theory made Young Sheldon.”

“Surely you can understand why I treat your opinions like a noisy child in public that I’m not responsible for.”

“Anywho, how’s work?”

MORE TO COME. 

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