ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Waking up to a stranger’s ceiling yesterday morning, Declan Freisan said he was overcome by a familiar sense of impending dread.
He told our reporters this morning in the 7/11 $1 coffee line this morning opposite the Robinson Road Bus Interchange that even though he knew hadn’t done anything wrong – he couldn’t shake the feeling he had.
“I probably did or said something that I can’t remember now that fills me with shame and embarrassment,” he said.
“But that’s OK,”
“Because if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best. Kurt Cobain said that, I think. I’m not doing heroin or anything but still, I can be quite a handful. So let it be known – if you want me, I come with a smorgasbord of emotional turmoil and existential angst covered by a thin veneer of self-deprecating jokes.”
Declan then took two sips of his strong flat white then threw it in the bin directly outside the shop.
“I’m too scat for this,” he sighed.
“I’m going to be sick.”
The Advocate’s sports editor Imran Gashkori was out on the tiles with Mr Fresian this weekend and he was able to confirm that while Declan was ‘having a great time’ – he has nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.
Unfortunantly, Gashkori was able to confirm that Declan is ‘a bit of a trainwreck’ but in an endearing way.
“He’s fine,” said Imran.
“He’s only 26, he’s got at least two or three more years left of this level of self-harm and debauchery. You can’t be doing this when your 28 or 29,”
“If he still is, I’ll give him a tap on the shoulder.”
More to come.
