EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A Betoota Heights woman with some rather picky dating criteria has found out some truly awful news this week, which is set to have a massive impact on her newfound interest in Formula One.

Caitlin Gillard reportedly became mesmerised by the world of motorsports shortly before the Grand Prix in Melbourne this year, as her Tik Tok for you page was inundated with thirst traps of Monégasque driver, Charles Leclerc, and snippets of our very own Daniel Ricciardo being as affable and charming as always- prompting her to officially become an F1 girlie.

Now with Fernando Alonso, Lewis Hamilton and Carlos Sainsz added to her fan list, Caitlin can’t believe it’s taken her this long to become interested in a sport filled with hot, rich European men who drive expensive cars.

That was until a male colleague thoughtfully burst her bubble after overhearing Caitlin lamenting about her quest to find herself a ‘noodle boy’, and providing some crucial information she missed out on.

“You do know most F1 drivers are pretty tiny right?” scoffed Josh, “I’m pretty sure Fernando barely scrapes 5’7.”

“Otherwise they wouldn’t fit in the car.”

“They are quite literally the definition of a pocket rocket.”

More to come.

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