CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Local rugby league sensation, Benny Benchwood (26), has been informed by his club that his media duties will no longer be required in pre-match, post-match and week-leading press conferences.
These revelations come after both teammates and fans expressed their disgust at his inability to tick of every single rugby league media clichè after his club’s spectacular win in Sydney last week.
In a post-match interview with Channel Nine, Benchwood, made no effort to give full credit to the boys, or his opponents – or mention that they all dug deep.
The transcript of Benchwood’s comments are as follows.
“Yeah, nah.
Really glad to take the points this week. At the end of the day we just had to back ourselves, you know.
There’s a lot we can take from this heading into next round, but, yeah, like I said, at the end of the day, it’s a game of two halves and who ever can put the ball over the opponents try line the most, is gonna win the thing.
We gave it 110% and just went for it. Bit of pressure on the inside and you know, the opposition, they really turned one on too.
Just gotta look for that consistency heading into the finals. Wouldn’t surprise me if we have a few challenging matches in the next few weeks. Nah but yeah, happy with the result
Just wanna say hi to my friends and family back home, hopefully be up there next week.
… and yeah thanks for coming out to the fans. Full credit to the fans.”
While Benchwood is being praised for his insistence on giving full credit to the fans, ARL Commission Saint Peter V’Landys says it simply isn’t good enough.
“The player in question will be reprimanded for these comments, or lack thereof,”
“I mean first it’s the cocaine and the misogyny… But now this? This entire matter has been redirected to the integrity committee and don’t be surprised if this bloke gets thrown under a bus to keep people who don’t even follow our game happy. He’s supposed to be a role model,”
It has been common knowledge in the Sutherland Shire’s rugby league community that Benchwood has been strategically kept in the lower grades until he “matures a little bit”.
However, with a two-year-old daughter in Ballina (the result of a footy trip romance) and another one on the way with his current girlfriend in Caringbah, last year Benchwood informed management that he was officially “anyones”.
It seems his million dollar deal with the new club is now in jeopardy after his poor choice of wording on Saturday night, however his family members are confident he will have made a full recovery by the time he returns from LA.
SIMILAR STORIES:
NRL Clubs Rush To Sign Misogynistic Cocaine Prodigy
NRL Community Rattled By Revelations That You Can’t Give More Than 100%
NRL allocates $2m to help stop players from saying “youse”
He needs to fuck a poodle, get in the Roosters.