Even The Greens Not Sure Who The Fuck Votes For Them After Losing Inner-City Melbourne
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Greens leader Richard Di Natale has today confirmed that even he doesn't know who votes for the Greens after his party's failure...
Facebook Comedian Releases Line Of Merch After Semi-Abusive Girlfriend Pranks Go Viral
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A local Facebook comedian who has found fame by causing distress to his girlfriend in a series of viral prank videos has today...
Draw-4 Use Tearing Regional Families Apart
LOUIS BURKE | Cadet | CONTACT
In a tragic turn of events, it has been reported Betoota mother and daughter Kietha and Jennifer Morris are still not on...
Rare Community Of Beautiful White-Skinned Rohingyan Muslims To Be Fast-Tracked For Visas
A rare community of persecuted Rohingyan Muslims with pure and smooth white skin have been identified as 'the type of people we want coming...
Groom-To-Be Bails On Wedding After Atrocious Parallel Park With Fiance’s Dad In The Car
KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT
A local Betoota man has been left absolutely humiliated this afternoon after he failed to execute a really basic parallel park while his father-in-law-to-be was...
Chris Lilley Appears On Sunrise To Talk Gold Coast Remake Of Fresh Prince Of Bel Air
LEROY PERCIVAL | Music Editor | CONTACT
Comedian Chris Lilley has appeared on Sunrise this morning to talk about his new TV series, a remake of the popular 90’s African-American comedy The...
Mature Wine-Drinking 18-Year-Old A Bit Beyond The UDLs Nowadays
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
There’s no denying we live in an age of increased learning, an adage best demonstrated by first-year uni-student Jessica Strauss who at the...
Report: Garlic Bread Has 2 Minute Window Between Frozen-In-The-Middle And Burnt To Shit
LEROY PERCIVAL | Music Editor | CONTACT
In a world first last night, a man in Betoota Heights has placed a soft, lightly-golden loaf garlic bread on the table at...
Entire Day’s Plans Scratched As Dad Reaches For His 1997 Edition Of Gregory’s Street Directory
LEROY PERCIVAL | Music Editor | CONTACT
Brisbane: A quick trip with the old man this morning has quickly become anything but, as Terry Devere reached under his seat and pulled out a...
Nigerian Prince’s $12992000000 Fortune Ends Up Going To Charity After No One Replies To His Emails
TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact
Prominent aid charity, the Red Star is today celebrating a once in a life time event. Upon checking their bank accounts this...
