If Off Ya Tree Outlets Keep Closing Down, Where Will Our Teenagers Buy Their Cocktail Shakers And Water Pourers?
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some sad news for emos and delinquents everywhere, it can be revealed that alternative retail store ‘Off Ya Tree’ may be shutting...
Chilli And Bandit To Sell After Foreign Investor Offers Eye-Watering Sum Of Money For Red Hill Home
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The brilliants minds behind Australia's favourite TV show have done it again, it can be confirmed this week.
Famous for portraying every day...
Pint-Sized Local Man Buys New Ford Ute That’s So Big He Needs A Stepladder To Get Into It
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local tradesman from our town's humble Flight Path District has shifted his hyper-masculinity into 5th gear today.
Brad Short-King (29) has done...
Nation Reassured Widespread Stench Of Wet Foot Is Just Sydney Drying Out After Wet Weekend
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Australians around the country are reportedly complaining of a wet foot smell this morning, leaving the nation's peak meteorological...
Lions Media Manager Hands Yondr Pouches Out To All Players For Adelaide Gather Round Trip
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
The man in charging of managing the public profile of the Brisbane Lions has today taken an extraordinary step.
The media guy for...
Polite Queenslander Confirms Freezer Is Most Humane Cane Toad Dispatch, Golf Club Is Just Back Up
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTWith another big year for cane toads on the cards, Queensland, NT, WA and upper NSW are being asked to do their bit...
“I’ve Made A Grave Error” Says Sydney Mayor Clover Moore Moments After Ripping 1 Iron 220 Up The Guts
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
From her apartment in the old Resch's Brewery in Redfern, Sydney's Lord Mayor Clover Moore has spent nearly twenty...
Balmain Software Salesman Forced To Cancel September Euro Trip After Tigers Win 2nd Game On Trot
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
It's been a bittersweet morning for Birch Grove (28).
The young software salesman has been forced to change the trip of a year,...
Local Woman Reaches Adult Milestone Of Going From Shitty Sharehouse To A Shitty One Bedroom Apartment
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA Betoota Heights woman has found herself feeling a mixture of anger and disillusionment this week, after realising that her quest for independence...
Splendour Canned Because The Kids Are Fucked Financially And Mentally From Spending 3 Years Indoors In The Prime Of Their Lives
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In news that nobody wants to really interrogate that much, Splendour in the Grass 2024 has been cancelled according to music industry reports.
Australian...
