The Nation

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT As half of Sydney sits in a 500km stretch of car park along the Pacific Highway, a local Dad is finding salvation in a frosty ice cream sandwich, it can be reported. Getting on the road at 4am this morning, Parramatta man Brian Hindmarsh was hoping he’d escape the waves of holiday traffic heading out of Sydney,...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In exciting news for a Sydney based bachelorette, a year long man-drought might break this week as a former Tamworth girl returns home to her regional metropolis for Christmas. After suffering through a disastrous year of dating, Woollahra paralegal Karla Kernaghan (29) was ready to throw 2023 into a new years bonfire and look towards a more...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT TURKISH (H)AIRLINES: If Qantas didn't already have enough to worry about, The Federal Government has finally agreed to start allowing international airline services to increase their operations in Australia. With the announcement of a large expansion for Turkish Airlines, Australia can also expect a large expansion in Turkish Hairlines. This comes after a nightmarish couple of years for the National...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A packet of salt & vinegar chips from a hospital vending machine are tasting more stale than usual today as a local nurse ruins her lunch break with a scroll of Instagram. Tired and devoid of any Christmas spirit, Sienna Warmsley (28), a Nurse at Betoota Ponds General, had only just sat down for a snack when...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A local Christmas has gone so well one local nan honestly wouldn’t mind if it was her last one after observing the strong bond between her grandsons on full display. Coming from a time where Christmas meant it was time for your yearly roast chicken, Betoota nana Millie Jortovic (80) absolutely loves the festive season so all her grandchildren’s...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Darren Longbottom (26), one of the caucasianest young men in the greater Betoota region has today reaffirmed himself as the type of whiteboy that calls other men 'brother' - a cultural idiom usually reserved for Muslims and other ethnic, faith-based and llinguistic minorities. While working the room at a work event today, the harmless young real estate agent was...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Former fast Australian bowler Mitchell Johnson has been spotted preparing to make a sensational comeback to the international arena. The former West Australian quick is an absolute moooddddddd, it can be confirmed this afternoon. This comes after retiring Australian opener David Warner managed to score a fairytale century in Perth to kick off his farewell tour of the...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A small town influencer is a little stroppy today, as she desperately waits for her chance to shine on Instagram. As the proud owner of the local personal training business ‘Body by Kelly’, Betoota fitness guru Kelly Peters is considered by many, and herself, to be a bit of an ‘It Girl’ around town. After spending...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Heavy rains and damaging winds have hit Queensland's tropical north coast as Tropical Cyclone Jasper forces residents to take shelter from uprooted trees and precarious power lines. The intensity of the storm was reduced to a tropical low late Yesterday, but communities up north were still working around the clock to prepare for the winds of about 100km/hand With meteorologists...

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A volcano of insatiable lust is about to erupt in a Betoota Heights home this evening as a local bloke treats his wife to his idea of a hot summer romance. Parked up on his 9-seater faux-leather couch wearing nothing but wet boardies, Ned Lawson (28) is looking pretty as a picture as he soaks up summer. Having...