Government Now Wondering If All These Education Cuts Were A Good Thing
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
For some the simple mask rule is proving a difficult one to follow, as the nation’s self-styled free thinkers stand up for their...
Over 500,000 Melbourne Dads Crack The Same Joke About Always Needing A Permit To Leave Home
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
While plenty in Melbourne are sighing at another new rule governing their lives, a few hundred thousand dads are today trying to look...
Regional Pub Allows COVID Marshall To Use Cattle Prod On Pissed Idiots Who Can’t Stay Seated
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A local hospitality employee has today decided that it might be time to get serious.
The 24-year-old bartender named Sophie Murray revealed to...
Local Gym Bro Finally Has An Actual Reason To Wear His Stupid Elevation Mask
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In some breaking news from Legends Gym in Betoota Heights, local Gym Bro Brad Parker finally has had the purchase of his expensive...
“Food Is Great, Thanks” Local Introvert Tells Waiter After Half An Hour Of Bitching To Mate
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
After months of microwaved meals and subpar home cooked meals, local woman Vanessa Leads is eager to tuck into something that doesn’t come...
Star City Adds COVID-19 To Black List
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
Sydney’s Star Casino has taken the extraordinary step of adding COVID-19 to the ‘Black List’, effectively banning it from the venue for...
NRL Considering Telling The QLD Teams To Sit The Rest Of This One Out After Fresh Border Closure
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Following the fresh announcement that Queensland was shutting the border to Greater Sydney, the NRL is once again frantically trying to find a...
Metalhead Comes To The Crushing Realisation That The Pits Won’t Open Up Until There’s A Vaccine
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In yet another sad story from the year 2020, a local metalhead has revealed he's having somewhat of an existential crisis at the...
“Calm Down” Says Bloke Knowing Very Well He’s Escalating Things
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
What was meant to be a friendly conversation has intensified to shouty levels after one mate asked the other to “calm down” despite...
Local Man Breathes A Sigh Of Relief As Random MyGov Inbox Message Turns Out To Be A Tax Statement
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
As he opens up his Gmail account, local man Josh Nixon sees a message that makes his blood run cold.
Not a lengthy email...
