Arts Student Lies And Says He’s Doing Commerce Subjects In Generous Father’s Day Present
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Sorry advertising, but someone already got Dad exactly what he wanted this Father’s Day.
Betoota Grove Arts student Bartholomew Crandle (21) has gone all...
Millennial Suffering Festival Withdrawal Stands In The Sun For 30mins To Buy $12 Beer
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
2021 has been another rough for Absinthe Carlsson, 19.
The self-confessed Festival Fiend has been staring at the brightly-coloured festival promo posters...
Man Starting On That Minimalism Journey Admits He Can Probably Chuck Those Unused Condoms
BEAU RIVERS | Local News | Contact
Cleaning out his overpriced and undersized Kogarah apartment, local man Jack Derrin (27), has today taken the first steps towards a life...
Dad Visibly Disappointed His Family Took The Old “Don’t Get Me Anything” Literally
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
A local dad has struggled to hide his emotions this morning after waking up on Father’s Day and finding that his family had...
Capitalism Rewards Hard Work Says 30 Year Old Stay-At-Home Son With An Investment Property
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Speaking this morning from an unpopular CBD office building foyer, a 30-year-old finance guy has today set the record straight on a big...
Year 12 Student’s Exam Anxiety Disappears After Deadshit Cousin Tells Them It Isn’t The Be All
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In a feel-good story from Coogee this afternoon, a local Year 12 student has had a weight lifted off her shoulders.
This comes...
Funny Man Brings The House Down By Tagging Mate In Ad For Erectile Dysfunction Treatment
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A man looks set for the relatively bright
lights of some international festivals after putting his comedic prowess on
full display today.
3rd year apprentice...
Coward Who Suggested ‘Kick-Ons’ Now Ready For ‘Bed’
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
An act of tremendous cowardice was committed in Betoota’s French Quarter this weekend as the self-elected host of kick-ons decided they were ready...
QLD COVID Guidelines Recommend Sanitising Goonsack Before Giving The Hoist A Spin
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In order to continue the Queensland way of life and maintain the ability to blame CoronaVirus on no-good southerners, the state government has...
Alleged Panic Buyer Just A Local Dad Doing The Shopping For First Time In 30 Years
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact
As CoronaVirus continues to make a home in Melbourne like a craft beer loving street artist, the message from the government couldn’t be...
