4 Years Of Schoolboy Footy In Late 2000s Not Enough To Prepare Local Bloke For First Ever Yoga Class
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLike many foolish people before him, local bloke Jerry Hutton had 100% faith that he would effortlessly nail a yoga class, seeing...
Melbourne Goth Watching Shooting Star Wishes That No One’s Wishes Come True
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactThough the thousands of Melbournians who were lucky enough to catch the meteor last night might have been spending the last twelve hours...
Teenagers Playing Classical Music On Train Somehow Scarier Than The Drill Rap Kids
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTLocal commuters are praying that everything will be OK as a group of teenagers enter their third hour of loudly playing classical music...
“Oh, So We’re All Racist Are We?!” Says No Voter, Unprompted
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIf the upcoming referendum for the Indigenous Voice from the Heart has confirmed anything it is that Australia is a harmonious nation where...
Calm App Releases 12 Hour Meditative Loop Of Barbecue Tongs Clicking For Dads
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAustralian dads are finally giving meditation a red hot crack as popular sleep and meditation app, Calm, releases a 12 hour relaxation loop...
Host Of Board Game Night Doesn’t Have Time For Your Fun
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTThe host of an allegedly fun Betoota Heights board game night has let his guests know they are in for a treat within...
Flatmate Ad Mentioning Neighbour’s ‘Friendly Cat That Likes To Visit’ Really Just Code For ‘We’re Not Allowed Pets But Got One Anyway’
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACTWhen it comes to advertising a room on Flatmates, there are a series of code words and phrases to look out for, and...
New Home Owners Saddened To Learn They Still Have Problems Despite Now Owning A Home
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | ContactA pair of emerging-affluent yuppie DINKs who moved into their first home last month have discovered that it’s impossible to escape from their...
Middle Aged Man Shopping For Bike Gear Asks Employee To Point Him Towards The Most Ball Hugging Lycra Shorts
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLike many men his age, Betoota Ponds bloke Pat Magooch has found himself joining an acoustic bike gang, after experiencing a...
Local Stockfeed Baron Set To Enjoy El Niño And Return To Former Role As Most Hated Man In Town
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A local man who is thought to be a pig-human hybrid is welcoming the return of El Niño and...
