Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local piss wreck has today done his very best alleviate his own guilt over what may or may not have happened at the Betoota office Christmas Party for a corporate multinational that he has been employed by for less that two years. Standing in the sterile break room this morning at 9:08am, Grant Savva (28) began speaking to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local mouth-breathing heterosexual has today been awarded the highest and most prestigious decoration available to LGBTI+ adjacent straight men. Dean Rudolf (32) returned home from his job today, which is something that involves ladders and roofs, to learn that he has received the ultimate seal of approval from his misso's most trusted confidantes. The gays. Despite claiming to...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After days of tense negotiations in the sweltering heat of Dubai, an historic deal has been made by almost 200 countries at the United Nations climate summit. The agreement offers a plan to keep the target of 1.5 degrees Celsius within reach, and maybe transition away from all that shit that makes heaps of money but fucks the environment This...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As 2023 wraps up, it's now time to look toward a new year. A new dawn. A new day. A new era. One that will probably still include the same escalating global conflicts and economic pressures that have emerged since the pandemic - but at least we can hope it won't. As Time Magazine absolutely mails it in by picking a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Brendan Wilston (29) is what most of his colleagues would describe as a run-of-the-mill seat-warmer. With no real personality on offer, and absolutely zero mention of his personal life outside of once apologising for running late for work due to car problems in 2019, Brendon's workmates at Betoota Printing Solutions generally view him as a Non-Playing Character (NPC). He only...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT ABC music guru, Richard Kingsmill has today announced he will be stepping down from his role as group music director, after 35 years at the national broadcaster. Starting out as a radio announcer, Kingsmill worked as a music journalist heavyweight in an array of different ABC formats - working his way up to the crown jewels of Group Music...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local builder Dane Stidjup (40) says ever since Morrison's Homebuilder grant every single job has been like a public school job. "We just name a price" he says, perhaps a bit more truthful than usual after 7 schooners of bitter at the Lord Betoota hotel this afternoon. "Everyone has forgotten how much anything costs haha" "I stung this one old bird...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Long-time Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has announced today that she will be retiring from politics this week, as the last of Australia's pandemic-era leaders to call it quits. It is believed she will now look to do something completely different, and is currently tossing up between moving to Melbourne or London but yeah like most likely London. This comes after...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The former Liberal Party leaders from the last forty years of both Federal and State Governments are today lamenting the persecution of another fine man who has worked tirelessly to keep them in power. This follows the publication of a long-awaited expose from The Sydney Morning Herald, which details scandalous allegations against one of the most powerful figures in...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Indian-Fijian, Raj Chand (34) hasn't really had the chance to embrace his Pacific Islander heritage since the last the World Rugby Sevens tournament on the Gold Coast in 2013. His growing detachment from the islands is something he laments. Other than occasionally getting the chance to wear the national rugby jersey, Raj doesn't often catch up with other Fijians...