Politics

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT Local cow BR433A, or as she prefers to be called ‘Marjorie’, has today reacted with fury after being referred to as a “lying Linda Reynolds”.  The slur, delivered by Marjorie’s sworn enemy, cow BR183C. Senator Linda Reynolds came under fire this year after her abysmal handling of a sexual assault allegation came to light. In 2019 a junior staffer...

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT In exciting news for the future of space travel, SpaceX, the commercial space travel company owned by bizarre billionaire Elon Musk, the US National Safety Council has deemed SpaceX no more dangerous than the most dangerous mobile phone, the Samsung Galaxy Note 7.  SpaceX was founded by Elon Musk in 2002 and has since set many impressive space-travel milestones....

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Australia's population has today revealed that they are rubbing their hands with glee at the idea of paying for our Attorney General to engage in a lengthy and costly legal dispute with our public broadcaster. This comes after the man too busy to answer questions about his behaviour and clear his name in an independent enquiry, decided to...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After a huge day of protests across the country, the Attorney General has tried to create a weird smokescreen to prevent people from asking for an independent inquiry into his behaviour. With the March4Justice rallies demanding action to be taken on the toxic culture in politics, as well as gendered discrimination, violence and harassment - Paid Leave Porter...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With March 4 Justice rallies taking place across the country today, the Federal Government has been urged to take the issue as seriously as other society-threatening ills - like needles in some fruit. This comes after a month of the government failing to adequately address the accusations of sexaul assault being levelled at it's employees. As huge numbers...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Op-Shoppers at Butler Vinnies were treated to a surprise visit from the countries' trendiest disgraced politician Christian Porter, who appeared at the store with several bin bags full of clothes he was willing to donate. According to witnesses, the Attorney General seemed cheerful and unphased by the well documented sexual assault allegations, which he denies and refuses to answer...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Political journeyman Barnaby Joyce has put in for whatever leave accused rapist Christian Porter and the incompetent Linda Reynolds are on right now after a few choice holiday rentals opened up at Yamba, a delightful seaside town in NSW that's home to people from all walks of life including retired farmers and some of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After a week of actually facing some tough questions about horrific sexual assault allegations levelled against him, Attorney-General Christian Porter has today taken some time to unwind. The man refusing to stand aside in regards to the allegations that he sexually assaulted someone in 1988, told The Advocate that he's spent the morning making the most of his...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Flight Path District HR manager has this week told his employees not to get any ideas. Speaking at a snap meeting yesterday evening Scott Reynolds, told his staff that paid mental health leave isn't something that is accepted at the industrial facility. "That's only for high net-worth individuals who have bargaining power, and politicians who have...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Attorney General and former Minister for Social Services Chrisitan Porter, has today asked the media and the nation to simply take him on his word. The man who rolled out the disastrous Robodebt scheme (that claimed nearly a billion dollars of debt it wasn't owed and hounded hundreds of thousands of people relentlessly to prove they were...