Modern Day Bonnie And Clyde Head To The Quiet Carriage For Very Personal Domestic
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
Commuters on the Betoota Hills line were awarded some in house entertainment today courtesy of a random couple.
The culprits, a man and...
Big Unit Pretends To Consider Exotic Ice-Cream Flavours Before Choosing Mint Choc Chip
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
In a moderately successful bid to impress his date, Betoota local and confirmed big unit Jack “Jacko” Jackson has strategically pretended to consider several exotic...
Nations Blokes Realise They Have Less Than 6 Hours To Buy Presents
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Retailers around the country are today enduring the last minute dash of the nation’s deadshits who thought they had another couple days...
Local Man’s Crush Heart Reacts Recent Message To Signal Conversation Is Over
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
Local man, Jared Smith, has finally mustered up the courage to reach out to his crush on Instagram.
After stalking her profile daily...
Man Smashes 100m World Record After He Hears The Garbos At 6 AM
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact
The athletic community has been shaken today by news that the World Record for the 100m sprint has been smashed by over...
Swing Voter Momentarily Becomes Severely Right-Wing After Hippy Places Foot On Flight Arm Rest
TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact
“Revolting” roared Tony Atkins, an influential swing voter from North Betoota.
Earlier today, Tony was sitting on a flight from Brisbane to Betoota when the passenger sitting...
Home-Cooked Meal Compensates Lack Of Taste With Sheer Quantity
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
After convincing himself he is going to get a headstart on his 2025 resolutions or something as equally pathetic, local man Domonic Mycock...
School Girl’s Popularity Surges After Whipping Out A Fresh Tube Of Paw Paw Ointment
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT
Private school girl Steph Edmondson today experienced an unexpected surge in popularity after whipping out a fresh tube of Paw Paw ointment.
After...
Manly Corso Experiences First Weekend Without A Punch-On In Recorded History
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
In a historic first, the Manly Corso has just recorded its first-ever fight free weekend.
This comes after the Northern Beaches were locked...
SAD: Today Is The Day You Would Have Quit If You Didn’t Lose Your Job Due To COVID
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
COVID-19 has taken from all of us this year.
For Victorians it took seven months of normal life. For NRL fans, it took eight...
